


The Time Lord Rate of Divorce

by Netgirl_y2k



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-29
Updated: 2010-06-29
Packaged: 2017-10-10 07:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/97377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/pseuds/Netgirl_y2k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do I want to see your spaceship? I think I've heard this chatup line before."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Time Lord Rate of Divorce

Everyone thinks the divorce was to do with the lottery win. Money doesn't buy you happiness and all that.

The divorce was a little bit to do with the money, but more to do with the Cybermen opening a rift in the attic of Donna and Shaun's new house and the artron energy spilling out of it breaking down the mental blocks that were keeping Donna's memories at bay.

Shaun said that his new wife turning out to be half alien genius who could see off an invading army of metal monsters armed only with the bathroom radio and a fish slice was too weird.

Donna said that he thought it was weird _for him?_

Irreconcilable differences: a phrase that covers a multitude of sins.

God, men are bastards.

*

"God," says Donna to the woman sitting next to her at the bar, "men are bastards." She's trying and failing to get drunk. It seems like the Doctor has left her a Time lord liver as well as a Time Lord brain, bastard. "Men are bastards, even the ones who aren't human. And now I can't even get drunk."

"Try ginger beer. Harry always got very silly after a ginger beer or two."

Donna looks properly at the blonde, dressed all in black, wearing sunglasses indoors and nursing a cosmopolitan. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

*

"Ah ha!" Donna's pleased to find the woman sitting in the same bar the next day. "You're Lucy Saxon, wife of Harold Saxon who was Prime Minister for about a minute and half before he went mental, started cackling like a loon and offed the American president."

"The police told you?"

"Nah, google. And I'll tell you another thing, you're supposed to be dead."

"Yes, well. I'm lying low for a time. Her Majesty's Government strongly disapprove when you escape from one of their flagship prisons after blowing the whole place to smithereens, even if it was to save the world from my evil ex."

"Word of advice, Lucy, take off the sunglasses when you're indoors, they only draw attention to you."

*

"Why do you keep coming here?" Lucy asks. "It's not as though you can get drunk."

"Says the women who's faking her own death by pickling her liver in a vat of cosmo."

*

"I've bought a spaceship," Donna cheerfully announces one day when she strolls into the bar.

"Where on earth did you get a spaceship?"

"They really should block e-bay on the Torchwood computers. Do you want to come and see it?"

"Do I want to see your spaceship? I think I've heard this chatup line before."

*

Donna is showing Lucy round her brand-new-second-hand spaceship when a fuel line leaks and drenches Lucy in starship fuel. Donna offers the use of her shower, so when the doorbell rings Lucy opens the door to Sylvia Noble sopping wet and wearing only a towel.

"So this is why you could never hold onto a man, Donna. I should have suspected."

"What?" says Donna, who's either making tea or fiddling with a power coupling.

"At least remember to invite me to the civil partnership ceremony, okay?"

"Huh?"

*

Six months later, when Donna and Lucy are forced to marry at gunpoint by cat nuns on a planet somewhere to the left of Alpha Centauri, Donna wonders if her mum will believe that her invite got lost in the post.

*

Later, when they're herded into the honeymoon suit, Donna thinks that if the Doctor were here he'd be constructing an elaborate escape plan involving stealing a nun's habit and rappelling down the side of the building.

She smiles at Lucy. "Lights on or off?"


End file.
